Have you been recently dumped or betrayed by a lover?  Even if your relationship is over you can take the breakup and use it to better define what your true values are and what you are looking for.  Learn what you value most.  If trustworthiness, honesty, mutual respect or forgiveness were lacking in your prior lover then those are attributes you can consider your essentials in new relationships. 

If you were hurt by someone then take stock in what attributes you’ll look for in someone new so that you feel comfortable and safe.  Breaking up is a horrible process particularly if you were in love.  However, sometimes you can learn from these experiences and have better personal boundaries and respect when you get into something new.  A failed relationship teaches you what things you will or will not tolerate in a new relationship.

With the rough economy the past few years many relationships have met their demise over issues of money and employment stress.  Companies, jobs, small business, and personal retirements have been lost.   If you look at the rubble of the economy these past few years there may be more than just money lost.  Love relationships may have been lost too over money disputes between lovers.

If you’re trying to pick up the peaces of your love life, here are a few tips.  These tough times help you see that true joy and satisfaction can be found with a partner, and the material things aren’t everything.  Since we have limited time rather than waste it on negative relationships try to focus on finding or preserving the right relationship.

The key to a new relationship is to trust your gut intuition and pay close attention to how people make you feel.  If you think someone meets all of your wish list but there are still red flags you must trust those gut feelings.  Even if there is no logical rational for trusting your instinct you should trust it.  Witches particularly have sensitivity and if you know deep down something will not lead anywhere good then do not go down that relationship path no matter how tempting.  If you feel ill at ease then honor that feeling.

Having strong boundaries will help you avoid falling into toxic and draining relationships where your good will gets taken advantage of.  Trust your inner wisdom and if something does not feel right that is a core feeling that should be honored.  Always trust your heart over your ears.  Someone can be telling you something and believable though it sounds if your heart feels uncertain trust your heart. 

If you’d like to find out where someone stands with you always look to their actions over their words.  Actions speak louder than words.  Trust what they do and how they make you feel over what they say.  Friends, especially girlfriends can have a horrible influence in your relationships.  Trust yourself over the advice of close friends.  You might be getting relationship advice from a girlfriend who has little capacity to have a successful relationship.  Be careful who you listen to.  You can listen to others but in the end you should love, honor and trust yourself.  You always know what is right for you.

The most tempting thing when it comes to affairs of the heart is to cling onto toxic relationships because you don’t want to let go, fear being alone, and refuse to believe there is anything out there for you.  Again, fear of being alone does not warrant staying in a relationship that is unhealthy.  Your feeling will always be to make it work however some relationships won’t work.  If a relationship is bringing more negativity to your life than positivity then it may be the smartest thing to just back off.  Let the relationship go if you need if  you need to for your own well being.  Staying in a doomed or abusive relationship can be doing you more harm than good.

Betrayal is the worst.  If you feel that you were treated with disrespect the temptation is high to respond with hatred.  If for example your lover disrespected you, cheated on you, or stole from you, it leaves you with hard feelings.  You might feel anger, malice and spite for quite some time.  This is natural and you need to recognize the anger.   It is entirely likely that your feelings are justified and that the person deserves no forgiveness at all.  Nonetheless, practicing forgiveness will help. 

Holding on to the anger is toxic to your own happiness.  Forgiveness is a function of love.  It doesn’t mean you need to condone bad behavior.  It just means you can walk away from it and not harbor any anger.  If someone stole from you or betrayed you, it’s not like you can repair that.  If they feel no remorse, chances are the damage is beyond repair. 

Think of forgiveness as just letting go.  Cut your losses.  Leave the relationship behind along with the mess and the anger and move forward in your life knowing what you hold dear when you enter into a new relationship.  If you put up with abusive behavior there is no need to hate the abuser or hate yourself for accepting such poor treatment.  Be happy that you are able to extricate yourself without suffering more emotional damage.  Don’t look back over your shoulder and don’t wonder what your ex lover is doing.

After a breakup or failed love affair, you’ll want to pamper yourself.  Now is the time to crack the piggy-bank and splurge on those beauty essentials.  Clothes, makeup, beauty treatments, vacation or spa can all help.  Take good care of yourself and be happy that you are healthy and have your family.  Try to get into your own groove and enjoy some free time since you now are out of a relationship.  Meditate and relax.  If you feel lonely try to work out or take on a project that will better yourself.  Make use of your down time even if it means cleaning house, fixing up your home, or catching up on piles of paperwork.

As a goddess remember that what you call a gut feeling is actually a spiritual premonition.  Trust your intuition.   If you feel that a relationship will lead you nowhere good then listen to your inner goddess and avoid falling prey.