It can be incredibly tough when coming out of a relationship, especially when you have been dealing with a liar, cheater, narcissist or sociopath type personality. You should know that you will come out of the relationship a better person. But first, you must go through the five states of bereavement to truly get past a toxic relationship. In order to truly get over the failed relationship, you need to get over denial that it is ending, dispel all your anger, stop the mental bargaining stop accepting poor treatment. You will go through a depression over the realization of being alone now, but finally, you will reach acceptance. The last state is acceptance, and it is only when you get past that stage are really on the other side of the bereavement process.
Are you over it yet?
You know you are at the final state of acceptance when not only can you let go of the person, but you hold no bitterness inside yourself. This inner cleansing process wherein your anger over your emotional investment being lost drifts away, can take quite some time. Cleansing yourself to where you do not feel like your innocence has been stolen from you is a difficult process. Have faith though because often times you can see a more spiritual side of things after you survive a horrible breakup. Wiccans are incredibly strong and use their Wicca faith and spell castings to deal with bitterness and negative emotions. A Wiccan goddess can put everything into perspective and not lose sight of her inner peace.
One sign that you have let go is that despite any thing your ex has done to you, you can let go with love. You can stop worrying about what this person continues to do with his life and with whom. It is not your problem or concern anymore. You should be able to feel free and in fact relieved that you no longer are entangled with someone that is controlling your life and causing you emotional damage behind the scenes. Jeolousy and hate will drift away and when you get over it, they will not be part of your emotional equation anymore.
Letting go of anger is an important part of the process. The way someone treats you can often be part of their core makeup. Though they might blame everything on you, they cannot help who they are in the most basic sense. No matter how happy they now look without you, they probably have done what they did to you to others in the past, and will continue to do so again at some point in the future. Revenge is never necessary. If they look happy it may only be because they are on their best behavior. Pretty soon they will lose that mask and become the very same person that treated you so poorly.
Anger over wasted time
Some women are angry over the wasted time and investment they have made into a relationship that fails. How many meals did you cook this person and how many times did you have their back in life? A woman can have a hard time cleansing that waste of emotional investment out of their system. The feeling of coming up empty handed after putting so much into a relation is really tough to get over. To get to the state of acceptance, you need to get over the obsession with the ex. You can’t be angry about how they moved on or how they did better than you somehow. You can’t hang onto anger over how much time of yours was wasted or how naive you were. Once you accept that it didn’t work out you can be at peace. If you continue to talk about how much you hate your ex then you still hold on to anger and negativity.
Why you should be happy to be depressed
Are you depressed about the relationship ending? Believe it or not this is a really good sign. Usually you get depressed well into the recovery and it can last a while. But believe it or not, depression means you are really grieving the relationship not working out. That is excellent because what does it tell you? It tells youthat you are finally starting to accept that it is over and it is all starting to sink in.
Yes you will be alone, yes you will be miserable, yes he will find someone new that much faster if he hasn’t already. But rest assured once you get past your catatonic state of depression you will realize that no-one is harassing you, lying to you, cheating on you, using you or abusing you. Your depression will slowly evolve to a quiet peace like state. And then slowly but surely day by day you will realize that life will go on. You will realize that you can get back to enjoying your days on this Earth.
Becoming more spiritual can really help you recover. You can start to let go, release your stress and learn to relax again. Wicca or any practicing religion for that matter, does help. You won’t be rebounding without thought, but rather really getting over it and working to move on in your life. Once you recover your equilibrium you may even realize this person came into your life to teach you about the pitfalls of unstable relationships. Love yourself, forgive yourself, and turn over a new spiritual leaf.
Whether it be getting into Wicca, a healthier lifestyle, diet, exercise or a total makeover, or all of the above, get moving and learn to love yourself again. Forgive yourself for being a dupe, a fool, gullible or for getting con jobbed or played. Instead focus on inner peace and get your positive peaceful karma back. Before you know it you will feel like getting out into the sunlight. As you get happier and move forward, positive people will become very attracted to you.
Cleanse the negative person out your life and move on from the relationship
Focus on Wicca spells to spiritually cleanse yourself. Get busy with other pursuits and activities and pay attention to the remaining love ones that are still around you. As you cleanse your ex out of your life not only will you become a happier and more pure person, and you will draw people to you again. When your old relationship is no longer a concern and you do not think of your old relationship anymore, you will know that you have successfully cleansed yourself from this person both in a physical and spiritual sense.